October Books and Festivities

Hi All!

Hope that you’re enjoying the Fall as much as we are. October is definitely the best month to be in Maryland. I found some time to enjoy a few books mostly non-fiction about girls and sex, failed military plots, and ancient Egyptian queens.

Things are progressing on the mommy front. Maya has had three teeth emerge on her upper gums, learned how to crawl really fast, and started pulling herself up very persistently on furniture. She is very determined to get into everything, and we find ourselves in need of a baby gate. Chloe turned three years old! She enjoyed her birthday celebration at school and at home and keeps insisting that it’s her birthday. Good times.

As always, let me know if you’ve read any of these books or have other suggestions for future reading.

Thanks!

Tonya

Nuking the Moon: And Other Intelligence Schemes and Military Plots Left on the Drawing Board by Vince Houghton

Rating: 5 of 5 stars

Recommendation: Yes!

Review: So, I was inclined to like this book to begin with because it talks about failed government acquisition projects and military plans, and I audit large acquisition projects, some of which can only be described as failures.  In fact, some of the projects I’ve worked on are discussed in this book, or rather their precursors that were cancelled and have since been resurrected in new, equally as impossible forms. Regardless of my pre-inclination to like this book, I think that anyone would enjoy it. Houghton is the owner of the Spy Museum here in DC and revels in the nerdy history of failed espionage tactics and national security plans like using cats as listening devices, bats as bombs, nuclear bunkers under the Pentagon, aircraft carriers made of ice, and spacecraft propelled by nuclear explosions. He brings a unique and hilarious voice to the retelling of these ridiculous stories and helps you realize the audaciousness of the plots that desperate men – and women, but let’s be honest, mostly men – came up with in attempts to thwart enemies and win wars. Highly recommend for anyone who wants a good read and a good laugh.

Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, and Advice for Living Your Best Life by Ali Wong

Rating: 4 of 5 starts

Recommendation: Sure, if you enjoy her type of comedy

Review: I watched Wong’s first Netflix special right after the birth of my first daughter and her second while I was pregnant with my second. I didn’t enjoy some of her cruder jokes, but I could totally relate to basically all of her mom- and pregnancy-related jokes, so I wasn’t disappointed when this book delivered more of this type of humor. The book is written as a series of open letters to her daughters with advice on everything from how to choose a good Asian restaurant, to travel and dating advice. In addition to laughs, she delivers some poignant insights into motherhood, relationships, and building a career as an Asian woman in the entertainment industry. My biggest takeaway: remember fellow moms: “You have suffered enough!”

Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein

Rating: 3 of 5 stars

Recommendation: Maybe

Review: So I’m still processing this book and trying to figure out how I feel about it. Orenstein is a journalist who interviews lots of girls ages 15-30 about their sex lives. Reading this made me realize that lots of people, perhaps most, don’t agree with my views on sex, which seems obvious but isn’t something that I think regularly about. I tend to surround myself with friends and family who agree with my religious views, which strongly influence my sexual behavior, but I guess that we’re in the minority. In addition to being eye-opening, as the mother of two girls, this book was also terrifying. It reinforced the fact that I need to have a comprehensive and thorough understanding of why I believe and behave the way I do about sex so that I can effectively teach my daughters. Of course, by the time they’re teenagers, all of this could be different! This is a truly terrifying aspect of parenting for me, so let me know if any of you have any thoughts or suggestions.

When Women Ruled the World: Six Queens of Egypt by Kara Cooney

Rating: 4 of 5 stars

Recommendation: Yes!

Review: This book introduces six Queens of ancient Egypt including some that you’re probably familiar with like Nefertiti, Hatshepsut, and Cleopatra, but a few that you’ve probably never heard of but are totally cool! As far as autocratic patriarchies go, Ancient Egypt was extremely stereotypical, but there are several instances throughout their 5,000 year (That’s right 5,000 years! Our young American minds can’t really comprehend a civilization with that type of timeline.) history there were several times when they turned to female rulers to lead them, usually after the men had royally screwed things up. Cooney draws interesting and compelling parallels between the power struggles of these ancient female leaders and modern ones. To be honest, this book made it seem like not much has changed in terms of how women in power are perceived, received, and allowed to exercise their power. Which was super depressing, but at least nowadays books like this are being written, and the idea of women being in charge isn’t largely reserved for the ends of a dynasty when she’s just expected to hold everything together to avert a civil war.

Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok

Rating: 5 of 5 stars

Recommendation: Yes!

Review: I read and reviewed one of Kwok’s books last month, Searching for Sylvie Lee, and I liked it so much, I decided to read more of her work. This book was eye-opening in a lot of ways. Although being fictional, it helped me learn about the ever-present anxiety and stress that comes from poverty and how people are willing to do anything to relieve that stress for their children. The protagonist in the book immigrates to New York City with her single mother at age 11 where they work for her petty and vindictive older sister in a garment factory in Chinatown while living in a literal hell hole. The book describes this precocious girl’s journey from Fresh-off-the-boat terrified to the top of her class as a scholarship student at an elite private high school. Coming from a privileged, white, upper-middle class background, I can’t really understand the pressure she describes of being literally her and her mom’s only hope to escape their horrible situation, but I can try to empathize. The thing that was most frustrating was that the protagonist had to continually prove herself above and beyond what the other kids from white, rich backgrounds had to do as it seems that even the teachers at her snobby school couldn’t believe that a female immigrant student could be as gifted as she was. It was an eye-opening revelation into my own biases as well.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein

Rating: 3 of 5 stars

Recommendation: Maybe?

Review: This is another book where I’m still trying to decide how I feel, and what I think about it. I think it’s good to read books that you don’t agree 100% with, or at all because it presents you an opportunity to evaluate your thoughts and opinions and clearly articulate to yourself why you think the way you do, or to change how you think. In any case, this book discusses the “shame movement” in the Evangelical church that according to the author, focused on sexual abstinence before marriage as the basically sole measuring stick of religious observance. I didn’t grow up in an Evangelical tradition, but I grew up in and continue to participate in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which also teaches abstinence before marriage. While Klein's clearly massive chip on her shoulder from her own negative experiences casts doubt on the book's conclusions, I think that she does make several good points about how we talk to our children about sex and pass on our sexual attitudes. The book made me resolve to do so thoughtfully, prayerfully, and purposefully with my own children.

Mommy's Corner

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We had lots of fun apple picking with family. It's one of our favorite family activities, and we do it every year. 

We also celebrated Chloe's third birthday at home and at school. She wanted me to help her blow out the candle. We asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, and she said, "Sing happy birthday, and eat a cupcake," so that's what we did. It's nice when they're young and have low expectations!

Look at that cheesy grin.

We're too lazy and busy to do much of anything for Halloween, but they always have a parade at the kids' school. We didn't dress Maya up this year, but her teachers weren't about to let her parade without looking extremely cute and provided a costume for her.